Goodnight & Go

Skipping beats, blushing cheeks I am struggling
Daydreaming, bed scenes in the corner cafe
And then i'm left in bits recovering tectonic tremblings
You get me every time

Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

Follow you home, you've got your headphones on and you're dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot you taking everything off watch the curtains wide open
Then you fall in the same routine flicking through the TV relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone...

One of these days, you'll miss your train and come stay with me
We'll have drinks and talk about things, any excuse to stay awake with you
You'll sleep here, i'll sleep there, but then the heating may be down again
At my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together.

Say goodnight and go,
why's it always always
goodnight and go
Darling not again
Goodnight and go

I first heard this song in tumultuous early 2005. Then I heard it again two days in a row last week on K-Lite. Very far from tumultuous now... so I focus on the other words that make this song so appealing. And so cute.

Also to my fabulous friend in Singapore. This is for you.

At the back of the back of my head...

Life brings lots of wonderful surprises, and for me, most of them I didn't know already happened. Or perhaps I knew, but I didn't want to believe it. I've always wanted to be the type of person who can just embrace everything without conquering too much fear or anxiety. I do try, but who am I kidding... I still always think too much. And because of that, when the moment calls for face-to-face revelation, I'm always at a loss for words... Then I regret not saying the perfect words for such perfect moment. And what's worse, I HAD the perfect thoughts, but they just didn't come out right!

But is it wrong? I've been debating this over and over. Of course, past experiences have molded me into the person I am today. So every time I feel like something big is about to come my way, I want to be stronger, and more importantly, wiser in choosing which way to go. Having said that, I keep myself guarded even though it's already served right infront of me, on a shiny, glittering, almost blinding silver platter. It's like the feeling of "the back of the back of your head" - I told my friend about this once, and he said, "so it's the front of your head?" - haha, good point. But I would have to say, the back of another head. I try to act cool, but at the back of my head, I want to give it a shot, and further back, I'm dead-scared.

Now I ask myself, how can I enjoy life's wonderful surprises if I agonize too much? If I protect myself too much...

I have a list of top 10 things that make me happy. I think everyone should create one as it is very therapeutic (heck make it your top 100 or more). That despite life's so many issues, it can still bring you so much happiness. I think one of them happened just recently. Well, I'm not sure really... or am I holding back? I think it's the back of the back of my head. Maybe this time around, I need to switch their places...